My friend, Sunday, is on Survivor this season and she is amazing. I'm not much of a television watcher, but I've seen every episode of Survivor so far. (By the way, the picture on the left is not from the show, unless they have a new series called Geriatric Survivor.)

I've never had to live in the jungle or build a shelter or do insane challenges, but after watching Sunday on the show each week, I've been looking back over my own life to see what, if anything, I've survived.

I'd like to think that I've survived something in my life. Something important.

Let's see, I've survived a divorce. I've survived being a single mom. I've survived car crashes. I've survived a water slide accident (don't ask). I've survived sleeping on the roof of a building...more than once. I've survived being the preschool lunch monitor. I've survived crazy relatives (you know who you are).

But, have I survived something really important?  Why yes, yes I have. I’ve survived on-line dating for the more “mature." (Translate “mature” as probably too old to date.)

Got S.A.L.T?

Seasoned At Life's Table

My friend, Julie, talked me into it. "It's so much fun!" she said. "It's like a man catalog," she said. "You'll meet so many guys," she said. Word to the wise: Don't listen to Julie.

After months, (okay, years) of joining various on-line dating sites, I corresponded with several prospects. But unfortunately, I didn't meet their dating criteria:

No, I don't have a lucrative retirement fund.

Yes, I have cats. (It's amazing how many men are allergic to cats.)

No, I don't want to meet Mr. Floppy (he had a rabbit costume).

Yes, I go to church, and no, I'm not "brainwashed."

Yes, I'm skeptical that so many men want to cuddle on a bear-skin rug in front of a fire (Talk? Seriously guys? Newsflash--no woman believes you.)

Yes, I actually like the Vikings.

And probably the most bizarre...No, I don't have the magic combination of being well-endowed plus the ability to drive a tractor.